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June 22, 2014 - 20th Anniversary Shows - Part 3: Bri Bri and The Sloth

Last ExitThis was the third of our special Anniversary Shows, throughout the month of June, as June marks the twentieth anniversary of this incarnation of the program. So, all month, voices from the past, former co-hosts coming back, current and past band members who have been on, and Best Of clips reliving all the insanity have been featured. Present this night were, Just Joe, who was actually there for two weeks in a row, James, Tim, Rick, From "The Metallic Onslaught", Dave, formerly of the band Spater, we learned this night that Spater was no more, Bri Bri, The Evil Shy Guy, among many names he has had, among others, The Evil Quaker, Hollywood Bri Bri, and Cousin Mel, his wife, Theresa, and his arch Nemesis, The Sloth Of The Apocalypse, and, Matt, who got a big hand for getting the performance room up and running, so now bands can perform live, and full electric, not just acoustic. Dave tested it out, he played some songs, three, including a love song, and a Spater song. The room worked great, and the songs were cool. Azkath had a present for Sloth, The Almost Original Suck Toy Of The Monkeys, from way back in the day. Sloth didn't want to put it in his mouth, but it wound up there anyways. Sloth and Bri Bri still argued, Bri Bri said he had given up being a Quaker, and was no longer evil, but Sloth didn't believe him. Azkath had another present for sloth, a Twinkie. He said it was the last Twinkie. Sloth was devastated when they stopped making Twinkies. He didn't trust that it was real, he thought it was a trick. Finally Azkath convinced him that it wasn't, Sloth opened the Twinkie, and saw that it really was a Twinkie. He started thanking Azkath profusely. While he was doing that, Just Joe was eying the Twinkie. When Sloth finally went to eat the Twinkie, Sloths are really slow, he only got to taste one bite of it, because Just Joe couldn't control himself any longer, and grabbed and devoured the Twinkie. Sloth tore after Just Joe in a rage, or at least as much as a sloth can really tear after anyone or anything, especially when that someone is on a sugar rush from a just eaten Twinkie. Just Joe got back, Sloth hadn't caught him. They asked him why he would do such a mean thing to poor Sloth. Just Joe's response was "Twinkie delicious!". Sloth finally made it back, and did choke Just Joe. But apparently Sloth was unaware that they have brought back the Twinkie, some months ago. When he was informed that you can buy them pretty much anywhere, he said he was leaving to go buy some right now. They asked him to stay for the rest of the program, but he said it would be fine, he was just going to run right down to the store, and grab some Twinkies, and run right back. So he left, and we should see him in about nine months to a year. With Twinkies. The next day, Monday, June 23rd, was Tim's Birthday, Happy Birthday, Tim! So Azkath had a birthday present for him. In the other room, there was a nice big floor, which was covered in about a hundred mousetraps. At first Azkath had thought to have Tim thrown into them for his birthday, but then decided that there was something that Tim would probably like even more than that, Tim could throw Just Joe into the mousetraps. So Azkath had had Just Joe set up the mousetraps, telling him that he was going to throw Tim into them for his birthday, which Just Joe totally bought. So Just Joe took Tim to the mousetrap room, and Just Joe wound up covered in mousetraps, the sounds from there were really impressive. Besides, Just Joe, you should have that happen, not only did it bring Tim happiness for his birthday, but you were really mean to poor Sloth, stealing his Twinkie and breaking his heart. Everyone sang "Happy Birthday To You" to Tim, well, Just Joe shrieked it, like he always does. The like last half of the program consisted of all music from bands that have been in the studio at LE over the past twenty years, and there is still a ton more of it to get through, we have had many, many, really excellent bands grace us with their presence over these two decades. Sadly, many of them are no more, but they left us with a lot of really great music. There was a Movie Time, and TV programs, and wrestling, were discussed as well. Throughout the night many Best Of clips were played, featuring Bri Bri and Sloth. And James brought us a wheel, we have never really actually had a wheel, just a box with a button on it, but now we have one, thanks to James. And so, thus went the third of our Twentieth Anniversary Specials. - Fire Eater Wizard

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October 3, 2010 - Wicked Ithaca Aftermath

MontageIn the first portion of the program there were a ton of people there. Three bands, Pandora's Toybox, The Lobster Quadrille, and Psyche Corporation, all of whom had performed at Wicked Ithaca prior to being on LE, Gorgar, Little Gorgar, Adam, The Enforcer, Dave, and, Rick, Wulfie, and Wulfie's brother BILL!, the last three from The Metallic Onslaught. The bands were interviewed, first Pandora's Toybox, and then The Lobster Quadrille, both of which were first timers here, and they only were able to stay for the first couple of hours. Both bands's music was played, a couple of tracks each. They rock. Morte has another band called Sorrowseed, which can be found at www.sorrowseed.com. A song of whose was also played, which also rocked. Psyche Corporation, which is Psyche Chimère, who has been on LE many times, was there for the whole program. Her music was played as well, www.psychecorporation.com is her website. She is cool. After the first two mentioned bands had departed, they sent Just Joe, all covered in Saran Rap in his attempt to make himself look invisible, out to have Wulfie, in his wolf mask, chase him through town. BILL! went with them, and streamed it on his Android phone to the LE website so the listeners could view it live. Someone accused Just Joe of being on pot, and someone else kept asking him for pot, with a cop right nearby, a sample of the brilliant humanity out there. They recounted there adventures when they returned. Tribute to the Past Russian Roulette was played. There are now ten thousand nine hundred eighty nine songs on the computer. If a bullet played, Rick, Wulfie, and BILL!, would each get to break a record over Just Joe's head. If no bullet, Just Joe would get to break a record over Rick's, Wulfie's, and BILL!'s heads. A bullet, the band XYZ. Just Joe got records broken over his head by Rick, Wulfie, BILL!, and Azkath smashed one over Wulfie's head for saying a bad word on the air on accident. Just Joe was knocked out for a bit, but he soon recovered. They decided to hypnotize Wulfie and send him into the future, to a week after the end of the world, to December 30th, 2012, to see if he saw the same thing Just Joe had seen when they did that to him a long time ago. Just Joe had seen, he said, bunnies, lots and lots of bunnies, the land was covered with them, but there was something different about the bunnies, they were frightening, and Just Joe still gets traumatized when it's mentioned to him, especially when they tell him they were probably shoggoths. Wulfie was sent to the future, and they asked him to tell them what he saw. He did see the bunnies, and shoggoths, he said the shoggoths were eating the bunnies. Then he said that, upon closer inspection, there was something wrong about those bunnies. Yes, there was something very not alright about them, he said it was bad, very bad, so bad in fact, that he couldn't say it, so, it was unspeakable. He was brought back. But, before Azkath brought him out of the hypnotic state, he told him that, although he would not remember hearing this, now, every time he heard the word metal, he would be allergic to wolves. And, when Wulfie was out of his trance, they started saying the word metal a lot, using it to describe a lot of the songs they were playing, as in "this is very metal", or "this isn't nearly as metal as I thought it would be". And, indeed, every time they uttered the word metal, Wulfie would start sneezing a lot. So, since Wulfie calls himself The Metal Wulf, now he won't be able to say or hear his name without violently sneezing, and he won't have any idea why, unless he reads this, of course, or listens to LE again. There started to be an Adventures In Listening, but the first song up was SOOOOO bad, sounding almost like a country song, not a metal (sorry Wulfie) song at all, that it actually was the first song ever to break the rule of Adventures In Listening, that, no matter how much it sucked, it would be let play all the way through, but no one could bear to hear this one all the way through, so, for the first time ever in this segment, the song, and the segment, was halted. There was two segments of Movie time, with Wulfie, Rick, BILL! , and Psyche Chimère participating. Rick, Wulfie,BILL!, and Psyche Chimère stayed for the whole program, though BILL! fell asleep about halfway through the night... 
-Fire Eater Wizard
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December 26, 2010 - We Love Satan Show

Joe and TimAs this LE began at midnight, December 26th, it began just as Christmas Day was ending. So we took credit for ending Christmas, yes, it was us, your welcome, everyone! So this was, of course, a We Love Satan Show. EVD, Little Gorgar, Adam, Tim, and Rick from The Metallic Onslaught, were there. They decided that Tim would be the most likely choice for Satan to inhabit, I mean he just screams out evil by his very being, of course he would be the one. So they got him prepared by having him do evil things. They had him twist Just Joe's nipple, steal Just Joe's Cheetos, and then give them to everyone but Just Joe. Tribute to the Past Russian Roulette was played. If a Christmas song, or a Satanic song played, then Just Joe would be thrown onto a barbed wire board. It did, so he did. Tim helped with that by sitting on his lap. They now thought Tim was sufficiently prepared, so they summoned Satan. But apparently Satan didn't want Tim, he wanted Rick, who would have ever thought that?! I mean, gentle, kind Rick?! Rick grabbed Adam, dragged him into the hallway, and, well, let's just say, there was only a mess of remains all over the hallway, and no Adam anywhere. So Adam was our sacrifice to Satan, everyone had thought that it would be Just Joe, including Just Joe himself. Rick didn't remember killing Adam when they told him Satan had made him do it to provide the sacrifice. Just Joe made a stew out of Adam's remains, and Tim ate it. He didn't know at first that that was what the stew was made out of, but, when he was told, he just said it was delicious, and kept right on eating. During a segment of Movie Time, Azkath became enraged when EVD told him he had seen the first episodes of the most recent "Doctor Who" series, and why hadn't any of them ever told him about that show and how good it was. Azkath beat the crap out of him, threw him out, and threw the barbed wire board on top of him. Azkath decided this would be a perfect day to summon an Elder God. He played some appropriate music, and waited to hear from the basement, which was where he summoned the God to appear, saying they could be contained down there. They listened via the microphone Azkath had set up. Soon there were strange sounds. Just Joe went to peek at what was down there. He said it was the evil bunnies he had seen when they sent him into the future a while back. And they were rapidly multiplying, as rabbits always do. Just Joe went and got a gun and started shooting the bunnies. When that didn't work well enough, he set off a grenade. That worked, it destroyed all the bunnies, leaving yet another stew like mess of remains all over the basement. Someone will probably be fed that, maybe Tim. Azkath said that, maybe he had brought about the bunnies in the future, and, since they were now destroyed, maybe Just Joe should go back to the future (wait, that sounds familiar, wasn't there some movies with that title or something?), and check on what was happening there now. Just Joe didn't want to, but Azkath hypnotized him, sent him two years and one month into the future, and asked him what he saw now. No bunnies. But a lot of shoggoths, eating all the people. Then Just Joe started screaming, really loudly. But, when asked what he was seeing now, all he would shriek was that it was unspeakable. He was hysterical, and extremely loud, so Azkath brought him back. Just Joe didn't remember being in the future, or what he had seen. He thought he had saved the day by destroying the bunnies, not realizing, or remembering, that, now that the shoggoths weren't able to eat the bunnies, they were eating the people. So now that's the future we apparently look forward to. Happy Holidays, everyone. As I made mention of, there was Movie Time, a few segments of it throughout the night, with Tim and EVD participating in some of them, that is until Azkath kicked EVD out violently, as I mentioned above. There was a lot of music about and praising Satan all night, and, for one last time, some Christmas music, of the Last Exit variety... 
-Fire Eater Wizard
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