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February 14 - Dave's Birthday


Recap by Fire Eater Wizard; It was Dave's birthday. There was cake there for Dave's birthday. For his birthday present, Russian Roulette was played, and it involved balloon golf, but special balloon golf, just for Dave... The balloons were filled with candy... If a bullet played, Dave would have the balloon golf played on him, and would try and catch the candy in his mouth when the balloon broke. If no bullet, Just Joe, James, and T.J. would have the balloon golf played on them by Dave, and risk life limb and being eaten by Dave as he went after the candy that would be released all over them when the balloons broke... No bullet... So first T.J., then Just Joe, and, last, James, got to experience Dave playing balloon golf on them, and then trampling all over them to devour the candy when the balloons popped. Miraculously, somehow, they all managed to survive that uneaten. Since Dave has now had UFC training, it was decided he should demonstrate his new skills. He and Just Joe would have a UFC style match, with no rules, and it would be to a knockout, with James as referee. So the fight began... There was a whole lot of slappin' goin' on, then Just Joe got Dave in a choke hold and was choking him out. It appeared that Just Joe would have won the match, despite being much smaller than Dave, and despite Dave's being a trained UFC fighter now, but then the referee, James, knocked Just Joe completely out with a vicious shot to the head with a dust thing. That was the commentator, Azkath's, description of it, and those were his words, "A Dust Thing", so, if you don't understand, blame Azkath, all I can say is, whatever a dust thing was, it sure made a sound when it connected with Just Joe's head that sounded like it delivered a wicked blow, and, it did, as, as I said, Just Joe was rendered unconscious, and stayed that way for a while. Since it had been said that there would be no rules, it was decided that Dave would have to be given the win, even though he would have lost if it hadn't been for the referee's blatant interference, so I guess it was actually more WWE than UFC. James said he figured that, since it was Dave's birthday, he just thought that Dave should get the knockout, so, he got it for him. James gave Dave his birthday spankings, with James's studded belt. James gave Dave several spanks with the belt, then started choking him out with it. James and T.J. started choking Dave out with the belt, and then Azkath finished the job, as they were doing badly at it. Then they picked him up, it takes more than one person to move Dave, and T.J. and James through his unconscious body in the snow, however, not only did Dave go into the snow, but T.J. and James did as well, and, since James was not wearing his belt, as he had removed it to spank and choke Dave with it, James's pants fell down, so he was in the snow with his pants down. Just Joe became distraught. He said he remembered the future from the past, or the past from the future, with all the shoggoths, and they were all saying "hi Kal", just like the one Azkath had summoned last week, and, what he had thought were a lot of bunnies, well, they weren't bunnies after all, they were the eyes of all those shoggoths. Just Joe was quite traumatized by the memory. And he said the shoggoth from last week was on the roof now, holding itself up there with, why with it's tentacles, of course! What else?! So now Just Joe was afraid to go outside, but he did have some more news. His car had been destroyed last week when Azkath hid the shoggoth in it, and the car was consumed by the shoggoth. However, who new that car insurance companies have policies that cover your car being enveloped and, hence, ruined, by a shoggoth. So they paid for a brand new car for him, and doubled his rates. So now you know, if it ever happens to you that you lose your car to a shoggoth, your insurance will cover it, isn't that nice to know! Azkath told Just Joe that Gorgar was in trouble dealing with the shoggoth, and that Just Joe should go help him. Just Joe didn't want to go help Gorgar, he refused several times, but finally, after being asked again, he said he would go help Gorgar, he wasn't at all happy about it, but he would go. He went. I'm sure that turned out just fine for both Just Joe and Gorgar.

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Living Sacrifice "Nietzsche's Madness"
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NOFX "Suits and Ladders"

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Motorhead "Iron Fist" (R)
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