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December 25, 2016 - Our We Love Satan Xmas Extravaganza!

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This LE fell right on Christmas Day, which only happens every five or six years, depending on The Leap Year. So, of course, it was one of our twice a year We Love Satan Shows, the other one being on Easter Sunday, of course. Present were, EVD, Nathan, and, Bi-Coastal Tim. EVD and Tim were acting very strange, I know what you're thinking, how could you tell, right? But not like their usual selves. They kept wanting to hear Christmas music, getting more and more insistent about it, and demanding to hear Stryper. And, EVD wasn't on his computer, totally absorbed in video games, like he always is, and, his beard was oddly white, almost like Santa's, and both he and Tim just kept staring. They kept insisting that Azkath play Stryper, he kept refusing, but finally gave in and played it. And then we found out that this had all been the work of Satan, who had possessed both EVD and Tim. Well, he is and does evil, and, what's more evil than Stryper, after all!? After Satan told Tim that, as a result of the possession, a part of his body, he didn't say which one, might or might not turn inside out. After Satan had departed, Nathan started acting very strange. I know, again, how could you tell, but he seemed to be trying to solder his orifi shut! By the end of the night he appeared to have soldered one ear shut, and, well, let's just say that the last thing he said was that he needed to poop, and they told him good luck with that! So, it would appear that Satan messed up Nathan, even more than he was already messed up. There were segments of Movie Time, and, of course, this being a We Love Satan Show, most of the music was for and about Satan, but there was some Christmas music, too, all throughout the night, Last Exit style Christmas, weird, disturbing, or funny music, or, Christmas metal. And, so, thus went our special We Love Satan Show it only happens every few years, the Christmas Day one.

-Fire Eater Wizard

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December 21, 2014 - Our We Love Satan Apocalypse Xmas Show

As this was the last LE before Christmas, it was our biannual, Easter being the other time, We Love Satan Show. The first couple hours were actually the Armageddon part of the program, and were prerecorded, as the LE crew were at the latest The Last Exit For The Lost Presents Show, where we were trying to end the world with brutal heavy metal at The Haunt. As far as I know we failed again, unless the post Armageddon life is exactly the same as the sucky world we are in now. When the gang arrived the We Love Satan part of the program commenced. Present were, Just Joe, Tim, Randy from "The Metallic Onslaught", Jeremy, and, Olivia and Tim from the band Undead Messengers, which was one of the bands who had performed at the Haunt Azkath said that, although it was a We Love Satan Show, they were going to deny Satan a sacrifice this time. But they were going to summon him. This was the plan... They duct taped Randy to a chair (too bad EVD was absent this night, duct taping people is his specialty, after all). Under the chair was a symbol used to summon Satan. So Satan possessed Randy's body, but was duct taped to the chair, and thus we could have him present for his Show, but he couldn't hurt anyone. Satan was not at all happy that he wasn't going to get a sacrifice, and was stuck in a chair. He insulted LE. Azkath told him that he wanted to know all of the secrets of the universe, or Just Joe would tickle them out of him. Satan was not forthcoming with even one secret of the universe, let alone all of them, so Just Joe started tickling him. Satan was indignant that he, the all powerful Prince Of Darkness, And Lord Of The Underworld, was being tickled. He apparently was ticklish, because he was laughing, for a while... So, I guess we didn't learn any secrets of the universe, but we learned that Satan is ticklish. Perhaps it was too much for Satan to have that secret revealed, because Randy's head exploded, and Satan was gone. There were pieces of Randy all over Just Joe, who had been the nearest to him, of course, and a lot of him in Olivia's hair, and his ears were on the floor, which we can use as souvenirs. Tim, our Tim, not the band's Tim, and Jeremy took the body outside, where Tim was told to take it home with him, Tim was also covered in Randy gore, and the band's Tim was munching on pieces of Randy. Luckily Randy was already a clone, so we can just clone him again, so he will be back, but let that be a lesson, don't tickle Satan while he is possessing someone, unless of course you don't like that someone and don't care if they explode, in which case, you have a way to get rid of them. Just Joe said that he and Our Tim finally agreed on something, that this Show should be celebrating Christmas, and playing Christmas music. So we did what we have done in years past, we let the computer, fate, if you will, decide. It was randomized for a set of songs and, if more satanic songs played, then Satan won, and, if more Christmas songs played, Christmas won. Not even one Christmas song. Azkath told Just Joe he had a deal for him... They would try one more set. If Satan won again, Just Joe would have to throw someone off the balcony. If Christmas won, then he would play at least some of Wham's "Last Christmas", which Just Joe and Our Tim had been asking for. Christmas didn't do much better this time around, only one song, so Christmas was thoroughly trounced this year, maybe because Satan got his blood sacrifice after all. A bit earlier, Azkath told Just Joe to take Olivia away. We no longer have a basement for him to take people to and do whatever it is he does to them there, but we do have a booth. So Azkath told Just Joe to take her there and do whatever he does, because she was being annoying, singing Christmas songs. Now, yes, I know, taking people to a booth doesn't sound nearly as bad or scary as taking them down into a basement, but apparently it is still really scary for the unlucky person Just Joe takes there, because Olivia could be heard screaming, and she came back broken, whimpering for Santa, which was mostly all she would say now. And, her night would get a lot worse, more on that in a second. Back to Just Joe now having to throw someone off the balcony... He chose the band's Tim, which was one reason why Olivia's night would get worse, as they are a couple, and Tim died being thrown off the balcony. But her night was still going to get even worse. Azkath was miffed that Tim had landed on his car, which he had specifically told him not to do, some people are so inconsiderate about where they die! He asked Just Joe why he couldn't have thrown him more to the left?! Just Joe said that Tim could have moved that way. Azkath told Olivia that he had a Christmas present for her, I guess the least he could do for taking her boyfriend away. Although, Tim was munching on Randy, so perhaps he is a zombie, and we may see him again after all, who knows? Azkath's Christmas present for Olivia was... He put on Just Joe's Porn Theme Music, which turns him into Porno Joe. Poor Olivia started screaming again, a lot, things like "GET AWAY FROM ME!", "GET OFF ME!", and, "GET IT OFF!", um, that last one was probably the wrong thing to yell, Olivia! Now, when Just Joe's Porn Music stops, he has no memory of what has just occurred, and so is clueless as to why people are screaming and freaking out. Azkath asked him what he was doing, and what was wrong with Olivia? Just Joe said he had no clue, he must have been helping her with her solitaire. Azkath started up his Porn Music again, and Olivia began screaming again. I guess she didn't like her Christmas present very much, she went back to whimpering, and then left. So, it wasn't a very good night for Olivia. First she had whatever she had done to her by Just Joe in the booth, she got covered in Randy gore, her boyfriend died, and, she got treated to Porno Joe. I wonder which of all of those she thinks is the worst? Losing Tim is probably bad, but I'm willing to bet it was Porno Joe! Jeremy and Just Joe got into a slap fight, which Azkath also got dragged into, only the slap he gave Just Joe was more of a punch. There were segments of Movie Time. And, of course, the program was all filled with music appropriate for the occasion, the first couple hours, The Armageddon part was all songs about the end of the world, serious and comedy, and, most of the rest of the night was music for to and about Satan, again, metal and comedy, with some Christmas music as well, also metal and comedy. Also, Sloth was present, but due to injuries he sustained at the The Last Exit For The Lost Presents Show, he broke his nose and cracked his orbital bone in the pit there, he was resting upstairs and could not participate. Feel better soon, Sloth. There was no Old School Hour in the final hour, so more satanic music, and some Christmas music, could be played as well. And, I would just like to say, that it wasn't a great night for me either, as I was disappointed that I didn't get to hear the Wham Christmas Song, which I joined Just Joe and Tim in wanting to hear, although, that is not my favorite Wham song, those would be, "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go", despite Olivia and the other Tim's nasty comments about that song, maybe I'm not feeling as sorry for them after all as I otherwise might have given all they went through, Tim, in addition to getting killed, also got beaten up, and well, I've already a numerated all the really bad things that happened to Olivia. So, thus went our part Armageddon, part We Love Satan Show. Whatever or whoever you are celebrating or not celebrating in this time, have a great time doing, or not doing that, everyone!!!!!

-Fire Eater Wizard

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December 12, 2010 - The Calm Before the Storms...

For the third time in four weeks, Just Joe was absent. They blamed Kal, a regular in the chat room, saying he had taken Just Joe's car keys. The Friday before this LE, December 10th, was Kal's birthday, Happy Birthday, Kal. They all sang "Happy Birthday" to him, very badly, as badly as they possibly could, saying he sucked for keeping Just Joe from being there. EVD was there for most of the night, 'til about 4:00, and Little Gorgar, and Adam were there for the first two or three hours. There were a few segments of Movie Time throughout the night, with EVD, Little Gorgar, and, Adam participating in one of them, and there was one segment of Anomaly Corner. And, because we are in the holiday season, there was holiday themed music, the Last Exit way, of course, throughout the night. The last hour and a quarter of the program was a Featured Artist, the band being Morbid Angel, first some bands covering them, and then an hour of their music...
-Fire Eater Wizard
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December 19, 2010 - Zombie Apocalypse Show

CollageThis was our Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show, to mark the world ending in two years, on December 21st, since it might be a wee bit hard to celebrate it after that, at least here, maybe somewhere else, we celebrate it in advance. And, this year, we decided to prepare for it by taking the probably least likely scenario of how it will occur, although, you never know do you, a zombie apocalypse, and training for that, a test run through drill, if you will. EVD, Dave (for once!), Shane, Little Gorgar, Adam, Dustin, from the band Sorrow Of Batavia, Tim, formerly of Century Media, and, before that, of Victory Records, Tim's friend Steve, and BBBIIIIILLLLL!!!!!, who turned out to be Kal, were there. When the program began, Just Joe was not there, again. It was decided that he probably needed rescuing from the zombies, so Dave and Adam were dispatched to do that. They returned with Just Joe, Kal rescued Just Joe from the zombies. Just Joe was not at all happy to find out BBBIIIIILLLLL!!!!! was really Kal, rescue or no. Adam had apparently been bitten by a zombie, he bit Just Joe, and Just Joe became a zombie. Just Joe was dragged away by Adam. Dave and Shane were sent to retrieve him. They did, but Dave was really pissed, saying Just Joe had bitten him, for real, and that he quit. Shane also complained Just Joe had really bitten him, but he threw Just Joe down the stairs. They had Kal show them how he had locked Just Joe in the trunk of his own car a couple weeks back, to keep him from getting to LE, by doing it again now, to punish him because he was actually biting people, getting into this zombie thing a bit too much, this was only supposed to be a rehearsal after all, a mock run through drill. Just Joe was really mad when he was again locked in his trunk for real. Kal got bitten by Adam during all this, became a zombie, bit EVD, and turned him into one as well. The zombies got Tim next. Shane tried to throw Just Joe down the stairs, Just Joe resisted, smacked Shane lightly on the head, knocking him out (Shane has a weak soft spot on top of his head, just like a new born baby, if you hit him there at all, he goes out like a light, I guess that is a defect of being grown from Just Joe's severed hand), but, when he fainted, he knocked Just Joe down the stairs by falling against him, so Just Joe went down the stairs anyways. Adam got thrown down the stairs as well. The Zombies were supposed to drag Dustin outside to turn him into a zombie, but Dustin fought successfully, saying it was too cold to go outside. Dustin was told he was disqualified from The Zombie Apocalypse Show. But then all the other Zombies refused to go outside as well, saying it was just too cold, and, they didn't care if they were dead, they still weren't going out in the cold. What a bunch of wimp wussy zombies!! I guess now we know another way to stop zombies, besides shooting them in the head, apparently if you can get them outside in the winter, you'll be safe that way too. The zombies insisted that, if they were gonna devour people, they were just going to have to have this apocalypse indoors. Now zombies are making demands or they'll go on strike?! What kind of zombies are these?! You just can't get good zombie help anywhere any more! What is this world coming to?! Well, apparently, an end. They tried to zombify Dustin again, but he fought again, successfully, again, for a while, but, eventually they got him, and devoured him. Then he quit, even though he had already been fired. Not at all a team player! Some of the other zombies quit too. Again, these zombies have to be the worst zombies ever! Steve commented on how he didn't think this had been a very good zombie apocalypse, saying there should have been props, blood and such, and making other suggestions. It was pointed out to him that he had been there all night, and he could have made those suggestions then, but didn't. He said he had wanted to critique it after the fact. Zombies Just Joe and Tim were sicked on him and told to devour him, which they did. Just Joe said he had locked Shane in the trunk of his car, his, meaning Just Joe's, not Shane's. No one ever went to let him out, so he spent the rest of the night there, at least, who knows, maybe more, maybe he'd even still be there next week, who knows when Just Joe, or anyone else, will get around to letting him out. But Just Joe turned on his car radio so Shane could hear the rest of LE, and hear them mocking him and laughing at his being trapped in the trunk. There were a few segments of Movie Time throughout the night, with Tim, Little Gorgar, Adam, Steve, and EVD participating in some of them, EVD apparently being really excited that he had actually seen a movie to contribute, because, right at the very beginning of the night, when no one was talking about movies, and it was being explained that it was The Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show Zombie Apocalypse Edition, he blurted out, out of nowhere, "I Saw A Movie". There were a whole lot of songs about zombies, at least until about 4:00, when the Zombie Apocalypse portion of the program ended, as all the zombies had either quit, or, in Dustin's case, been fired, so the last two hours of the night were mostly just The Pre-Anniversary Count Down part, with a couple more zombie songs thrown in. And there was LE style Christmas themed music throughout the night as well. And so thus went our Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show Zombie Apocalypse Edition. It was concluded that the Zombie Apocalypse part hadn't gone all that well, was kinda a failure. Well, what can you really expect with wimp wuss whiny zombies who make demands and put conditions on there being willing to do what zombies do, grab and devour people, eat their brains, and turn them into more zombies. I mean, really, is that so hard?! All you need to be concerned with is doing that if you are any kind of zombie worth his or her salt! You guys really sucked at being zombies! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Well, anyways, Happy Pre-Anniversary Of The End Of The World, everyone! Remember, if you have things you want to get accomplished, or affairs to be gotten in order, or affairs you want to have with anyone for that matter, better get cracking! There's only two years to go! So, Happy Holidays, everyone! 
-Fire Eater Wizard
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December 26, 2010 - We Love Satan Show

Joe and TimAs this LE began at midnight, December 26th, it began just as Christmas Day was ending. So we took credit for ending Christmas, yes, it was us, your welcome, everyone! So this was, of course, a We Love Satan Show. EVD, Little Gorgar, Adam, Tim, and Rick from The Metallic Onslaught, were there. They decided that Tim would be the most likely choice for Satan to inhabit, I mean he just screams out evil by his very being, of course he would be the one. So they got him prepared by having him do evil things. They had him twist Just Joe's nipple, steal Just Joe's Cheetos, and then give them to everyone but Just Joe. Tribute to the Past Russian Roulette was played. If a Christmas song, or a Satanic song played, then Just Joe would be thrown onto a barbed wire board. It did, so he did. Tim helped with that by sitting on his lap. They now thought Tim was sufficiently prepared, so they summoned Satan. But apparently Satan didn't want Tim, he wanted Rick, who would have ever thought that?! I mean, gentle, kind Rick?! Rick grabbed Adam, dragged him into the hallway, and, well, let's just say, there was only a mess of remains all over the hallway, and no Adam anywhere. So Adam was our sacrifice to Satan, everyone had thought that it would be Just Joe, including Just Joe himself. Rick didn't remember killing Adam when they told him Satan had made him do it to provide the sacrifice. Just Joe made a stew out of Adam's remains, and Tim ate it. He didn't know at first that that was what the stew was made out of, but, when he was told, he just said it was delicious, and kept right on eating. During a segment of Movie Time, Azkath became enraged when EVD told him he had seen the first episodes of the most recent "Doctor Who" series, and why hadn't any of them ever told him about that show and how good it was. Azkath beat the crap out of him, threw him out, and threw the barbed wire board on top of him. Azkath decided this would be a perfect day to summon an Elder God. He played some appropriate music, and waited to hear from the basement, which was where he summoned the God to appear, saying they could be contained down there. They listened via the microphone Azkath had set up. Soon there were strange sounds. Just Joe went to peek at what was down there. He said it was the evil bunnies he had seen when they sent him into the future a while back. And they were rapidly multiplying, as rabbits always do. Just Joe went and got a gun and started shooting the bunnies. When that didn't work well enough, he set off a grenade. That worked, it destroyed all the bunnies, leaving yet another stew like mess of remains all over the basement. Someone will probably be fed that, maybe Tim. Azkath said that, maybe he had brought about the bunnies in the future, and, since they were now destroyed, maybe Just Joe should go back to the future (wait, that sounds familiar, wasn't there some movies with that title or something?), and check on what was happening there now. Just Joe didn't want to, but Azkath hypnotized him, sent him two years and one month into the future, and asked him what he saw now. No bunnies. But a lot of shoggoths, eating all the people. Then Just Joe started screaming, really loudly. But, when asked what he was seeing now, all he would shriek was that it was unspeakable. He was hysterical, and extremely loud, so Azkath brought him back. Just Joe didn't remember being in the future, or what he had seen. He thought he had saved the day by destroying the bunnies, not realizing, or remembering, that, now that the shoggoths weren't able to eat the bunnies, they were eating the people. So now that's the future we apparently look forward to. Happy Holidays, everyone. As I made mention of, there was Movie Time, a few segments of it throughout the night, with Tim and EVD participating in some of them, that is until Azkath kicked EVD out violently, as I mentioned above. There was a lot of music about and praising Satan all night, and, for one last time, some Christmas music, of the Last Exit variety... 
-Fire Eater Wizard
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