The Last Exit For The Lost Apocalyptic Underground Radio

Present were, EVD, Just Joe, and, Tim. Near the beginning of the program, Nathan called in from Bronie Con, to tell us all about it. Where else would a Bronie be? And, as of the time of his call, he had already spent five hundred dollars there! Talk about a dedicated Bronie, Nathan, you have that much to blow on Bronies and whatever Bronie paraphernalia, which I don't even want to think about(!) you picked up there?! Lets all hit Nathan up for money now, he obviously has a lot of it to spare, and the rest of us are poor! I'd be happy to take some of that off your hands! The money, not whatever it is Bronie related that you spent it on! As a bunch of little technical things kept going wrong on this night, it was decided that there must be a Gremlin problem. And Tim was dispatched to get rid of them. He did this by producing a pan flute from his pants! Apparently he always carries one around with him in there, he said later he thought we all knew that, but it was quite surprising to see him whip his pan flute out of his pants like that! He used the pan flute to, Pied Piper style, lure the Gremlins to him. But then they all started attacking him. Tim was soon overwhelmed, and Just Joe was sent, although he didn't really want to, to go help him out, he had to drag him out of there. But it worked, the Gremlins were now outside, and Tim knew where to put them without even having to be told, because it was so obvious, I mean, where else would you put them?! In Just Joe's car, of course! Everyone was also told to be on the lookout for the last Little Eric, whom we don't think has ever been caught or disposed of yet. In The Cover Set (at 3:30), a heavy cover of Europe's "The Final Count Down" was played. I think Azkath thought that this would upset Just Joe, but Just Joe got all excited, shouting with joy and glee that Azkath had played the song. I don't think it was Azkath's intention to do something that would make Just Joe that happy, but, apparently, Just Joe now hears that song in his mind the way Europe sings it, because, before, he was always upset when anything but the glam (and even I, a huge lover of glam, think that song is horrible, I actually prefer the covers, if I have to hear it at all, but my first choice would be not to hear it at all!) version of that song is played. Azkath played him another cover of it, and that one also made him really happy, he was positively giddy. There were segments of Movie Time. The final hour was The Old School Hour, and it started off with a Connect-A-Set, a set of songs that all have a common link, usually having something to do with them all having a band member in common in some way...

- Fire Eater Wizard

Present were, EVD, Eric, Tim, Nathan, and, Nathan brought a friend with him. Funny, I didn't know he had any friends, that weren't Bronies, that is. This friend was responsible for some of the song "Metal Sex", which Nathan had recorded and brought to us a couple weeks ago, saying it was for EVD, this friend played the guitar on that song. I guess Nathan is not only a Bronie, he is also a masochist Bronie, because, apparently, being thrown onto a barbed wire board last week wasn't enough for him, he said that, this week, he wanted to raise the stakes... So, Russian Roulette was played again... This time, if a bullet played, Nathan would have to sit on a barbed wire board, while Eric gave him a lap dance. And, if a comedy, or weird song played, then EVD would have to be really nice to Nathan, I.E., not insult him, compliment him, for the talk break while he was getting his lap dance. A definite comedy, and weird as well, song played, The Great Luke Ski's "The Chain Saw Juggler", that song fits both definitions. So, everyone went into The Performance Room, where once again, as it had been last week, Auto Tune was on, and the lap dance happened, and EVD being nice to Nathan happened, more on that in a second. Now, the Auto Tune had an unanticipated effect, it corrected everyone's voice to the same pitch, which made everyone sound exactly the same, and nothing like they normally sound, much deeper, so that, unless you were seeing it, you would have no idea who was saying what, well, you could tell which one Nathan was, he was the one doing all of the screaming and moaning (which sounded really weird, given what I've just said about how everyone sounded), wait, that just sounds wrong, especially given that he was receiving a lap dance, from Eric(!), at the time, I'm pretty sure that those were screams and moans of agony, not pleasure, although it is Bronie Nathan, so you never know, and you could tell which one was EVD, because he was the one saying nice things to Nathan, although that mostly consisted of stuff like, "I'm really glad you're having such a good time, Nathan", and, " I'm really glad you're so happy, Nathan", which, for EVD, was I guess about the best he could manage. When everyone was out of that room, and away from the Auto Tune, Tim told us what had happened... Eric started giving Nathan the lap dance, then Tim thought he could do it better, so he joined in for a bit, he was more front to front on Nathan, whereas Eric was more back to front. Then Eric had an injury, and stopped for a bit. And then EVD duct taped (you could hear the duct tape from that room as well, and, since EVD is the one who is always using that, one could guess that he was the one using it on someone) Nathan to the chair, and, once again, like last week, dragged him out onto the porch that way and left him there, but this time, luckily for Nathan, a passerby, wow, that person must have really been perplexed by what they were seeing(!), took pity on him and helped him out, damned do gooders! They always ruin everything!There was going to be a second segment of The World According To Eric, which Eric first said he wanted to do, but then, when it came time for it, he said that he was just no longer feeling it tonight, siting the fact that giving Nathan his lap dance may have had something to do with why he was no longer in the mood for it, that also sounds wrong, "feeling it, and, "in the mood for it", given that it is Eric we are talking about here! It's probably just as well, given who it is that we are giving free reign to say whatever he wants to! Most of the time we have to stop him from talking. However, Eric did give out a few of his massages, which he is now calling Rubbie Dubbies. This week's passing of Rowdy Roddy Piper was talked about, and we musically paid him tribute as well, playing two of his theme songs, and a metal song with his name in the title, "Roddy Piper's Pot Pie". There were segments of Movie Time. At 3:30, The Cover Set. The last hour was The Old School Hour, with the final song of the night being one of Rowdy Roddy Piper's theme songs that I mentioned above...

- Fire Eater Wizard

Present were, EVD, Nathan, Tim, and, The Person Formerly Known As Crappy The Clown, or, as he was calling himself for most of the time this week (Crappy did put in an appearance), Bulk Hogan, in honor of all the trouble that Hulk Hogan is in now, being totally expunged from The WWE because of the release of a tape in which he goes on a racist rant. EVD said he was going to do an experiment on Tim, that he was going to modify his DNA. He said he had installed a button in his head, injected it with a chemical, and that when he pushed it, Tim would now have Turret's Syndrome. He wanted Tim to say lots of mean things to people there and get him in trouble. In that, he failed miserably. He somehow succeeded in making Tim even more nice than he already was, which was already extremely nice. I guess EVD should stick to hair styling. Nathan was in the performance room, and he was singing pop songs, sounding like he was using Auto Tune. EVD went up there and thoroughly duct taped him. Nathan came hopping down, and tried to charge EVD, but the poor young Bronie weighs like ninety pounds, and so it didn't do a thing to EVD, who only wrapped him even more completely in duct tape, and put him out on the porch and left him out there. Later, something was done that hadn't been for quite a while. Russian Roulette was played. EVD was told to pick whether he wanted bullet, or no bullet. First he said no bullet, then changed his mind and went with bullet. If a bullet played, then Azkath, on behalf of EVD, would body slam Nathan on to The Barbed Wire Board. If no bullet, then EVD would have to be really nice to Nathan, not insult him, compliment him, for a whole talk break. Bullet. So Nathan got body slammed on The Barbed Wire Board, and then kicked him while he was impaled on it, and smooshed him onto it further. There was a lot of screaming. But, after that, Nathan did get to play a set of music. 

- Fire Eater Wizard

The first part of the program, about an hour and a half, was prerecorded, because everyone was attending the The Last Exit For The Lost Presents Show. When the live portion started, present were, EVD, Nathan, Rick and Randy from "The Metallic Onslaught", and the band Undead Messengers, who had been one of the bands performing at the above mentioned Show. Azkath played a song that Nathan had composed and recorded with a couple of friends, and he, Nathan, said it was for EVD. It was entitled "Metal Sex". It was, um, interesting... When asked how he felt after hearing it, EVD had one word, "Violated!". Azkath said he had something for Randy since he chose to smoke that night at the Haunt show... It was a brand new baking sheet, which he proceeded to bash Randy in the head with, repeatedly, 'til the baking sheet was pretty much destroyed. During one of the talk breaks, Azkath said he could hear Europe's "The Final Countdown" playing, and he couldn't figure out why, as that song is banned on LE, in this studio, at least. EVD said that he couldn't hear it, but Randy could, and so could I. Azkath had even created a computer virus to destroy that song on all of the computers, including other people's, like Tim's. Then they realized that Nathan was not around. Nathan was the culprit, and he found it highly amusing. He said it had been so worth it. He had found an untouched copy and had crawled beneath the board and plugged his phone into the jack for the background music. He got beaten senseless, totally knocked out cold, by Azkath, Rick wanted to participate in the beat down, too, but it was feared that this would kill the young, ninety five pound Bronie, which we don't want to do because he is fun to pick on. Later Azkath told Nathan not to look in a mirror, saying that apparently he had misunderstood, when he thought that EVD was a good hair stylist and barber. Well, ya know, mad scientist, hair dresser, those two things are easily confused. They told him everything would be fine, as long as he didn't look into a mirror. Undead Messengers updated us on the goings on with their band, and their plans. At 3:30, The cover set. There were segments of Movie Time. The last hour was The Old School Hour...

- Fire Eater Wizard

Just Joe hosted the beginning of the program by himself because everyone else was at a Psyche Corporation Show. After a while, Nathan and Tim arrived to join him. While they were there, it occurred to Just Joe that he could play Europe's "The Final Countdown", Azkath wasn't there to stop him. Tim thought this was a great idea. But, once again, the song would only play for a few notes, before the word "Nope!" was heard, and it stopped. Just Joe tried on different computers, but still that was the only result, Azkath had blocked them all. Then Tim said he would play it from his computer, but the same thing happened there as well! When Azkath got there, he said it was a "The Final Countdown" virus that he had made, how did they like it? Just Joe and Tim had asked people to bring their CD's of it over, and they would play it off each CD. Nobody did. Tim said he would bring his CD with it on next week, Just Joe said he would, too. Good luck with that, guys. If you do that, I'm pretty sure your CD's have an excellent chance of being broken into a lot of pieces, probably on you. Apparently Just Joe broke a microphone while he was running things, which he, Nathan, and, Tim were unable to figure out how to fix. As Azkath had come from a Psyche Corporation Show, the one person band who is Psyche Corporation, Psyche, was now there as well. She updated us on all things Psyche Corporation, and quite a few of her songs were played, both her older material, and brand new tracks as well. It's cool, www.psychecorporation.com is her web site. There were segments of Movie Time. The last hour was The Old School Hour...

- Fire Eater Wizard

Present were, EVD, Nathan, and Tim rejoined us. Nathan and Tim had never met. It was done in three phases. Phase one, they shook hands. Phase two, Tim told Nathan all about "Dawson's Creek". Phase three, Tim decided he liked Nathan. They seemed to hit it off ok, I'm not sure as well as Tim and Eric, but it was only their first meeting. Nathan got to run the board for a set. As it was July fifth, we had a Fourth Of July Celebration, just a few hours late. EVD put a bunch of firecrackers down Nathan's pants and set them off. Nathan had not consented to this, and he didn't seem to enjoy it much, judging by the agonized screams. What are you, an unpatriotic Communist or something, how could you not love fireworks on America's Birthday!? There were songs sent out to John The Drummer, as it was his Birthday, Happy Birthday, John! There was also a set of music for my Birthday, which had been the previous Wednesday, July 1st, but apparently the computer didn't like my picks, because it died, I killed it. Well, thanks for trying, guys, I appreciate it, sorry I killed your computer! There were segments of Movie Time, and TV programs were discussed as well. The last hour was The old School Hour... 

- Fire Eater Wizard

Present were, EVD, Just Joe, Nathan, and, Eric. The band Rabid was there for about the first two hours of the program. They performed two sets (7songs) in The Performance Room, which Nathan set up and ran. It sounded great, Rabid rocked. They rocked so much in fact that they caused EVD to evaporate, he disappeared not to be seen or heard any more that night, but not before he said "Mykur" a few dozen more times, helping them further earn their award and place in our Band Name Hall Of Fame Of Band Names That Have Had Their Names Said The Most On Our Airwaves. There was an amusing incident where Nathan was describing the plot of a "Star Trek" episode, and Just Joe, at the same time, was describing a part of "Charlie And The Chocolate Factory", I don't think anyone could follow either plot, but it was funny, they both just kept on describing the events, as if the other wasn't talking, and neither got thrown off at all, although I did, and I'm pretty sure everyone else did, too. A new segment was introduced, The World According To Eric, where Eric would get about three minutes to talk about any topics that he wanted to, and impart his wisdom to us, always a dangerous thing, the disclaimer that the views expressed in this segment do not necessarily reflect those of any sane person, and, quite possibly, not even Eric himself, were never more fitting then for this. To sum up, there is a conspiracy by the gay Mafia, illegal aliens, I'm assuming he means from Mexico, not from outer space, but with him you never know, are bringing Chupacabras with them, and that they conjure them up with Voodoo, and that "The Minions" movie is retarded, his word, not mine. After Eric was finished, the song "Chupacabra", by Zakas, was played, fitting. Nathan was introduced to Dave's Beard, and Just Joe and Eric forced him to put it on, to Nathan's horror, his screams and struggles were quite vigorous. Well, they were trying to help him out, he can't seem to grow his own beard, too young, so... And we have come full circle... Once, we had to have an Enforcer for Just Joe, and now Just Joe is our Enforcer for Nathan when he acts up. Awww, our little Just Joe has grown up... Finally! At 3:30, The Cover Set, which Nathan ran the board for. There were segments of Movie Time, and some TV stuff was talked about as well. The last hour was The Old School Hour, which featured more hard rock and glam than usual, which was some for Just Joe, and was also my fault, as it was dedicated to me, because, the following Wednesday, July 1st, would be my Birthday. Just Joe serenaded me with a beautiful, moving rendition of "Happy Birthday To You", it brought me to tears! What kind of tears, I'm not quite sure! The final song of the night was one of my all time favorites, Masi's "God Promised A Paradise". Thanks, guys, it is much appreciated! 

- Fire Eater Wizard

Present were, EVD, Nathan, and, Giuseppe Cuozzo , who has been in many bands (and every time he's in a new one, he has a different look, too, and tonight was no exception), who has a new project, When You're A stranger. He brought the CD, and all four tracks from it were played. It rocked. You can also find his band on facebook, it's the one with the picture of a lighthouse, which he took himself. And, it's been a while, but I think we have another band who has earned the highly coveted honor of having their name up on our Wall Of Fame Of Band Names That Have Been Said The Most On The Air. Yes, I know it's a long name for an award, but it's very highly sought after, because it means the band's name is getting the kind of exposure that can literally be obtained nowhere else. And our newest recipient, who joins the likes of Lamb Of God, My Penis, Hell Yeah, Short Bus Pile Up, Necrogoblikon, and the winner of The Lifetime achievement Award, the all time champ, Goatwhore, is, *drum roll* Myrkur! Because, for some reason known only to his strange mind, but his strangeness is Myrkur's good fortune, EVD, loves saying their name, has been saying it repeatedly for the last three weeks, and has got Nathan doing that with him. So congratulations, Myrkur! Your fame will surely soar to great heights now, because we, and this award, have that kind of power and influence. So enjoy your new fame and wealth, and try not to become one of those bands who, when they reach super stardom, squanders it away, like a couple of past recipients must have done, like My Penis, and, Short Bus Pile Up, did, that must be why they aren't internationally known by now, because this award guarantees that, so it must be their fault! There were segments of Movie Time, and some TV stuff was talked about as well. At 3:30, The Cover Set. The last hour was The Old School Hour...

- Fire Eater Wizard

This show is dedicated to the memory of B. Rettie.

On June 11, 2015, William E. Rettie passed away after a brief illness. He was born July 8, 1964 to William and Joanne Rettie. After graduation from Cobleskill Central School, Bill attended SUNY Cobleskill and Community College of the Finger Lakes. Bill’s interests included music, both as a fan and as a musician/song writer. He was a successful and respected business owner/founder. He had a keen sense for business and the entrepreneurial spirit to match. Bill is most known for his kindness, generosity, gracious warmth and his great ability to make people laugh. Bill was happiest when he was surrounded by his family and friends. Bill was predeceased by his father, William H. Rettie. He is survived by his beloved wife, Renee Maffei Rettie and their beautiful dog Gidget; his mother, Joanne Rettie of Cobleskill; sisters, Kathleen (Martin) Thomas of Troy and Barbara (Thomas) Borter of Valley Falls; and sisters-in-law, Annette (Joseph) Falzone and Doreen (Andrew) Warholic. He will be missed by nieces, Erin (Joseph) Trimarchi of Guilderland, Jennifer (Mark) Collins of Troy, and Michelle Falzone of West Pittston, PA; nephews, Jeffery (Emily Wethje) Borter of Homer, Joseph Falzone of Lancaster, CA, Tanner, Alexander and Benjamin Warholic of Cortland. He is also survived by great-nieces, Madelynn, Katherine, Braley & Alessandra and his godson, Jordan Beck. 

This was the second weekend in June, our Anniversary month, twenty one this year, so it was the second Show appreciating current co-hosts. Present were, EVD, Just Joe, whatever The Person Formerly Known As Crappy The Clown was calling himself this week, this time it was Mr. Nobody, R.J., and a girl he brought with him whom I'm assuming is his girlfriend, but if I'm wrong on that, my apologies to her, on second thought, even if I am right about that, still, I'm sorry, Girl. Nathan was supposed to be there, but called in sick, thus ruining what was supposed to be Just Joe's token of appreciation, Nathan was supposed to be sacrificed to him, so that will probably occur later this month. Crappy's gift was a copy of a Show he had performed at as part of The Punch Drunk Monkeys, the last Show they played together. Some songs of Punch Drunk Monkeys's were played, always great to hear, and some clips of Crappy appearing on LE from way back in the day. Crappy made an appearance to receive his appreciations. R.J.'s gift was a copy of "The Last Exit For The Lost Armageddon Show", which his band Thirteen South had performed at. A Thirteen South track from that was played, it rocked. R.J. and Girl made a huge mess when they dumped some bags of foam all over Azkath. Azkath wasn't able to come up with another gesture of appreciation for Just Joe, other than his plans for an absent Nathan, so he, very reluctantly, told Just Joe that, if he really wanted it, he guessed they could play Europe's "The Final Count Down", if he REALLY wanted it. Just Joe was ecstatic. But, when the song played, only a few seconds of it would play. Azkath told Just Joe he must have broken it, but Just Joe was sure he hadn't. They tried a few more times, and the word "Nope" could be heard when it stopped, finally reminding Azkath that he had gotten rid of all of the copies of that song, knowing that Just Joe would try to get around the ban on it any chance he got. Azkath claimed he had forgotten all about doing that, and had really meant to play it for Just Joe, but who knows, it would be just like something he would do to torment Just Joe, letting him get his hopes up just to crush them. There were segments of Movie Time, and a new Netflix series was reviewed as well. At 3:30 the set of all covers was played. The last hour was The Old School Hour...

-Fire Eater Wizard

This past week, Wednesday, on June 3rd, was LE's 21st Anniversary, so this was an Anniversary Show. Present were, EVD, Nathan, Tim, Olivia, and Darryl from Undead Messengers, and, Adam and Nikki, who hadn't been here in a while. There was a little talk about the past, but this time, Azkath decided to celebrate the current co-hosts, he had presents for them. EVD got to bash a picture of George W. Bush and break it into smithereens with a hammer. Nathan got a tape deck, it doesn't work, but maybe he can fix it up. It also happened to be the very date of Tim and Olivia's third Anniversary of being together. Happy Anniversary, guys. To Celebrate them as co-hosts, and to celebrate their Anniversary as well, Tim got to stand under the balcony while Olivia and EVD pelted him with a whole bunch of water balloons. There was a set of about ten Shoebox songs, which took about eleven minutes, to honor him as he used to be a regular co-host. At 3:30, the set of cover songs was played. There were segments of Movie Time, with some TV programs talked about as well. The last hour was The Old School Hour... 

There was also the first part of an interview that Azkath and Randy did with Karen Stever of the band Stever. You can listen to the full interview here.

- Fire Eater Wizard