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November 29, 2015 - Just Joe's 12th Anniversary

Poor JoeThis program was to celebrate Just Joe's twelfth Anniversary of being here, November 23rd, which had been this past week, Happy Anniversary, Just Joe! Present to help celebrate it were, Just Joe, luckily(!), EVD, Nathan, Rob from the band Thirteen South, and, Vern, who hasn't been here in almost a year and a half, and was Just Joe's first Anniversary surprise in a night that would see several (all that time away hasn't changed Vern a bit, he's still as obnoxious and annoying as ever). Also, The Almighty Monkey was listening and giving his input this night. Just Joe's next surprise was bubble wrap, which he was urged to pop, only when he tried to, he couldn't, because it was the kind that's all connected together so you can't pop them, which is being used more and more often nowadays, I hate it, too! Why do they have to go and take all the fun out of everything!? Everyone loves to pop bubble wrap! Just Joe did make a puppet out of the non poppable bubble wrap, and then he cheered himself up a little by beating on Nathan, which always makes everyone feel better, well, everyone but Nathan, of course. A game of Hide And Go Beat was played. Nathan had never played this before. Nathan had to go hide, and both Just Joe and Vern would have to try and find him, in the dark. If Nathan got found, he lost, if Just Joe and Vern couldn't find him, they lost. And the results on this night were Paddle Or Kiss, whoever lost got spanked with the paddle with a whole lot of thumb tacks in embedded in it, whoever won, would get Hershey's Kisses. Actually, there were three rounds. The first Nathan was found almost immediately, but the second and third, they couldn't find him. So Nathan got spanked once with The Paddle, and got two Kisses, and Just Joe and Vern got one Kiss each, and two spanks with The Paddle. A Russian Roulette set was played. Just Joe was asked to pick if he wanted bullet or no bullet. He picked no bullet. If a bullet played, Nathan, Vern, and, Rob would all My Crotch Your Face Just Joe. If no bullet played, then Just Joe would get to hear "The Final Countdown" in it's entirety, and Europe's version, not a cover. There was a bit of confusion for a minute when the question was posed what if that song played, as it did three weeks ago, when Just Joe was not here. At first it was said that, in that case, Just Joe would get to hear it, then that was quickly corrected to no he wouldn't, because that would then mean that the song would become the bullet, not the prize, and would therefore have to be stopped, and Just Joe would get My Crotch Your Faced. See, you thought this was a silly, simple game, on the contrary, as you can see, it can become quite complicated. So the computer picked from thirteen thousand nine hundred and fifty songs, and it would get even more complicated, because, a song played that half the people present said was a bullet, and the other half said it was not. So it was decided that both things would happen, Europe's "The Final Countdown" would be played... While Just Joe was getting a three person My Crotch Your Face. It was a very disturbing My Crotch Your Face, with a lot of spinning involved. When it was over, they asked Just Joe if he enjoyed finally getting to hear one of his favorite songs? But Just Joe seemed too traumatized for some odd reason to really answer, just kept whimpering. And, I think we may have cured him of wanting to hear that song, because, for the rest of the night, whenever anyone sang the opening notes to it, Just Joe would start to twitch, obviously that song now has too bad memories connected to it for him to like it. Which is amusing to watch, so now we may actually be seeing the ban on that song lifted, and we may actually hear it a bit. There was a lot of reminiscing, everyone giving their most memorable Just Joe moments from the last twelve years, of which there are A LOT. A LOT. In this reminiscing, The Giant Hammer came up. Nathan had brought a brand new Mac tablet with him. They had him lie down holding it, and then Just Joe bashed it with The Giant Hammer 'til it was beyond repair. Nathan was whining that he had just paid two hundred dollars for that. Well, then you shouldn't have been stupid enough to bring it here. Anyone should know who has been here more than once, and Nathan has been here way more than that, if you have anything you value, don't bring it here, because it will be destroyed, or, if it will fit, wind up down someone's pants, and you won't ever want to touch it again. Vern said that he had been away way too long, and now realized how much he missed being here, he said that he was never going to leave again. Azkath told him that they were now going to play a game, Vern would go hide, and everyone would try to find him. Vern hid, and nobody made the slightest move to go look for him the rest of the night, so he'll be waiting quite a long while. It was an all vinyl Old School Hour, as it has been for the last couple of weeks. There was A Cover Set. There were segments of Movie Time, and TV Programs, and on-line Shows were talked about as well. And so thus went Just Joe's Twelfth Anniversary Show, it has certainly been a very eventful twelve years! And so, once again, A VERY HAPPY TWELFTH ANNIVERSARY, TO JUST JOE!!!!! You have certainly made the last twelve years interesting, and entertaining!!!

- Fire Eater Wizard

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March 20, 2005 - Vern Returns

LEA member of Lotus Project was there. No, not David. Of course not David, you really didn't think the worst excuse for a co-host ever actually showed up did you!? No, it was Pat, the guitarist. Just Joe was also there, and was on time this week. The Penguin was also there briefly. But, unfortunately for her, not briefly enough to escape being thrown in the snow again by Just Joe and having Just Joe put snow down her pants. Poor Penguin! Well, the snow should be gone soon Penguin (even in central NY). And, on this night, she would not be alone. No that was the first of a long night of many people going into the snow many times, but more on that in a bit. She also got her ass smacked a lot. Now I'm sure you will all recall that, after all the build up, and all the weeks of waiting, this was the week that the combined Wheel Of Satan / Keys To The Apocalypse's count down would run out, and we would finally find out if we would have an Armageddon. Now, I said in last weeks recap that we might get an Armageddon, or that, perhaps, it might go back to playing The Teletubbies, which, of course, would be a much worse fate than an Armageddon... So, now the big moment was almost upon us, and all waited with bated breath to see what would occur... The thing had been brought up from the basement, which meant that the echoing distorted reality was back. But not for too long, as the thing only had some seconds to go on it's count down, which everyone counted down together... And then two horrible things happened... The thing did go back to playing The Teletubbies, which Just Joe was thrilled about, but that's just because he's an idiot. For the rest of us... Now how could anything possibly be more horrible than that? But, as if that wasn't bad and evil enough, there was something else. Vern!!! Yes, the mopkin was baaaaack! Well, first off, Azkath ordered Just Joe to kick the wheel (which Just Joe kept refusing to do, as he wanted it to go on playing The Teletubbies) to try to make all this terribleness go away. It did get kicked eventually, by Vern, and the Teletubbies went away. However, unfortunately, Vern's being there did not. Apparently, the wheel was not what had brought him there after all. He said that he had came back because he had heard that they were going to have The Wheel Of Satan, and that he wanted to be there for that. That plus it was his show, and it had sucked so badly in his absence, that he couldn't stay away any longer. (he sounds a lot like Jeffie in these delusional regards). Now, from here on out, there are a lot of twists and turns in what went on... I am not sure even my memory can keep track of all of them, and just how many times things went back and forth, but I will do my best to summarize, but this one's going to be a work out. Ok, here we go, let's see... Vern picked up where he had left off, as annoying and obnoxious as ever, insulting everyone. He started insulting Just Joe, and Just Joe killed him! Yes, that's right, Just Joe did what many had tried and failed to do quite easily. It's not known how he does these things (he was also the one, you will recall, who finally got rid of Friend, after many had tried and failed at that), but, somehow, he does. He killed the puppet, which meant that The Eternal Void (whom Vern had taken complete control over a long time ago) was back. The Void thought Just Joe was the greatest ever for freeing him and became his number one fan, fawning all over him and praising everything he did. Actually, everyone for once thought Just Joe was pretty neat, as he had gotten rid of the puppet. Just Joe tossed the puppet corpse in the snow. Then it was suggested that Just Joe throw his new number one fan in the snow. He did, and this lead to some extremely chaotic and disturbing events taking place in the snow. An orgy in the snow involving Just Joe and his new fan. Azkath told Just Joe that he could actually pick a song for his good work throwing people in the snow, and for getting rid of Vern. And, surprisingly, Just Joe did not pick Elf. He picked Dick Delicious And The Tasty Testicles doing "Masturbating For A Better Tomorrow", which he sent out to Lance. Then, somehow, Vern was back, probably because the Void and Vern were together again in the snow. For awhile... Then there was more snow activity. And the puppet was dead again. Azkath Told Just Joe to throw his fan in the snow again. The Void suggested that he and Just Joe throw Azkath in the snow. Azkath said that there was now going to be a bloody snow orgy... The three of them went out into the snow. When they all were back inside... Weeelllll... There was some dispute as to just what had gone on and who had won, and who had lost... Just Joe and his fan were gloating, saying that they had won. Azkath said that he did not exactly lose and described some of the things he had done to them, DDT-ing them and such. Then they pointed out that they had put snow down his pants. He had to concede that that was true. But, then said that actually Just Joe had done him a favor, as it was hot inside and now he had a well, a built in cooler I guess you could say. He thanked Just Joe and told him he was pretty cool. (ha, unintended pun there!) Then Vern was back, for awhile... Azkath told Just Joe that for a reward, he was going to play The Dave Mathews Band... Just Joe was thrilled, and Vern was furious, saying it would ruin "his" show. He stormed off and threw himself in the snow. Then Azkath told Just Joe that he was not going to play Dave Mathews. Then The Void was back, but now he was acting more like Vern, saying it was his show and being obnoxious, since he had now saved himself from Vern. Then It was decided that as FMG was the only person who had not gone into the snow that night (well, all except for Pat, he never did), that this should change. She protested and resisted, but Just Joe and Azkath teamed up and threw her in the snow. Azkath told Just Joe that they made a good team, and thanked him again. Then Vern And The Void were both there arguing with each other over who was the greatest. It was said that Just Joe was better than both of them. Then, at the end of the night, it was Vern again and worse than ever. He attacked Azkath and was humping his head (a fate that the late Zoltan, among others, had the misfortune of experiencing). Just Joe said that, if humping was going on, then he wanted to be part of it... And apparently Just Joe started humping Vern. Vern screamed that he hates humping, (which was quite a shock for everyone to hear!), and ran away, so, Azkath thanked Just Joe yet again. And thus went a disturbing chaotic very, very snow filled night. No Armageddon, Teletubbies, Nothing much from the wheel, Vern, and a lot of praise for Just Joe, and, lots and lots of snow. Very weird upside down night. 

- Fire Eater Wizard

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June 15, 2014 - 20th Anniversary Shows - Part 2: Vern, Ian, and Chuck!

Last Exit

This was the second of five very special programs commemorating the fact that this month, June, marks twenty years of "The Last Exit For The Lost", featuring many special guests, voices and bands from the past and present, and reliving all the memories from the past twenty years. Here tonight were, Just Joe, a couple of WVBR personalities, Chuck, from the program that follows LE, "The Salt Creek Show", and, Mark Andbinder, long time WVBR personality, who does a lot of things, The worst Co-host In The World, Dave, who had actually now been here two weeks in a row, which has to be some kind of record, Ian The Yeti, and, to everyone's dismay, Vern, who appeared when Azkath just had to go and play a CD that said, "Never, Never, Ever, Ever Play This CD", it turned out to be Vern's Theme music, and it summoned him. Vern and Just Joe decided to form a band that they called Sound Check. This band featured such great hits as "Check One Check Two", and all the other hits you know from any band doing a sound check, which I guess means that all of those bands ripped off Just Joe and Vern. Sound Check kept forming, disbanding, reforming, changing members, firing members, getting new members, and firing them again all throughout the night. First they broke up when The Yeti arrived, because Just Joe is already in a band with him, The Squirtin' Chubbies, and he left Sound Check to rejoin that. Then he left that to rejoin Sound Check, which now also featured Dave, 'til Vern fired Dave, when it turned out that Dave, unlike the other two, who sing HORRIBLY, actually has talent, he has a nice singing voice, as well as a good death metal growl. Vern got Jealous of all the praise that was being heaped on Dave, so he kicked him out of the band. Then he kicked Just Joe out, because Vern wanted to do everything, vocals, guitar, and drums. So Sound Check was now a one Mopkin band. Azkath played a clip from a Best Of CD, where Vern was actually very funny. Azkath said that, maybe it was good to have Vern around after all. Just then they noticed that Vern looked sick, very sick. Vern told Just Joe that the pressure and fame of the band had just been too much for him, and he had turned to unhealthy substances, which he had now overdosed on. With his last gasping breath, he implored Just Joe to keep Sound Check alive, then he expired. Azkath was pissed with Vern for dying just when, for the first time, after ten years of him, he was finally starting to like him. Just Joe and Ian decided that they must keep Sound Check going, it was Vern's dying wish, after all. But they didn't think that they should keep the name Sound Check, after all they just wouldn't feel right singing all those songs with lyrics consisting of variations on the words Sound Check without Vern. Big de lemma, what should they call themselves? Azkath suggested "The Squirtin' Chubbies"? They thought that was perfect! So now they were back to exactly what they always were, but Sound Check lives on, of course, somewhere. Azkath had a request for The Squirtin' Chubbies, he wanted to hear one of their biggest hits, "There's A Raccoon On My Face", so they sang it, the lyrics are "AAAHHHHH! GET IT OFF!!!!!", which sounds disgusting, but I think refers to the raccoon. Hide And Go Beat was played. Dave hid and Chuck seeked. Now Dave, in addition to his title of Worst Co-host In The World, has recently acquired another title, Master Hider, the two times he had played, no one had been able to find him, however, this time the third time was not the charm, as his streak was broken, Chuck found him, and so got to knock him out by bashing him over the head with a big metal sheet. Lots of clips from Best Of CD's were played, making poor Ian relive some horrible experiences, like getting covered in very pungent ass sweat from both Just Joe, and The In forcer, AKA, Harold. This night, Ian was pretty much unscathed, only getting squeezed a few times, both Chuck and Just Joe got their heads humped by Vern, he was always doing that to people, and he hadn't changed in his absence, but now he is dead, so no more of that. The final hour was, again, a very special Old School Hour, featuring all bands that have been associated with LE these past twenty years, some performing live here, some doing interviews, some being on a lot at certain times, so that they became co-hosts, like Eric, from the band Ire Clad, and R.J., and Rob, from the band Thirteen South, are now. Some bands featured tonight, The Lobster Quadrille, Pandora's ToyBox, Worm Quartet, Sorrow Of Batavia, among many others. Some of the tracks played were performances bands have given live here over the years. And so, thus went the second of our five Anniversary Specials. - Fire Eater Wizard

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