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2010 Show Archive

December 19, 2010 - Zombie Apocalypse Show

CollageThis was our Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show, to mark the world ending in two years, on December 21st, since it might be a wee bit hard to celebrate it after that, at least here, maybe somewhere else, we celebrate it in advance. And, this year, we decided to prepare for it by taking the probably least likely scenario of how it will occur, although, you never know do you, a zombie apocalypse, and training for that, a test run through drill, if you will. EVD, Dave (for once!), Shane, Little Gorgar, Adam, Dustin, from the band Sorrow Of Batavia, Tim, formerly of Century Media, and, before that, of Victory Records, Tim's friend Steve, and BBBIIIIILLLLL!!!!!, who turned out to be Kal, were there. When the program began, Just Joe was not there, again. It was decided that he probably needed rescuing from the zombies, so Dave and Adam were dispatched to do that. They returned with Just Joe, Kal rescued Just Joe from the zombies. Just Joe was not at all happy to find out BBBIIIIILLLLL!!!!! was really Kal, rescue or no. Adam had apparently been bitten by a zombie, he bit Just Joe, and Just Joe became a zombie. Just Joe was dragged away by Adam. Dave and Shane were sent to retrieve him. They did, but Dave was really pissed, saying Just Joe had bitten him, for real, and that he quit. Shane also complained Just Joe had really bitten him, but he threw Just Joe down the stairs. They had Kal show them how he had locked Just Joe in the trunk of his own car a couple weeks back, to keep him from getting to LE, by doing it again now, to punish him because he was actually biting people, getting into this zombie thing a bit too much, this was only supposed to be a rehearsal after all, a mock run through drill. Just Joe was really mad when he was again locked in his trunk for real. Kal got bitten by Adam during all this, became a zombie, bit EVD, and turned him into one as well. The zombies got Tim next. Shane tried to throw Just Joe down the stairs, Just Joe resisted, smacked Shane lightly on the head, knocking him out (Shane has a weak soft spot on top of his head, just like a new born baby, if you hit him there at all, he goes out like a light, I guess that is a defect of being grown from Just Joe's severed hand), but, when he fainted, he knocked Just Joe down the stairs by falling against him, so Just Joe went down the stairs anyways. Adam got thrown down the stairs as well. The Zombies were supposed to drag Dustin outside to turn him into a zombie, but Dustin fought successfully, saying it was too cold to go outside. Dustin was told he was disqualified from The Zombie Apocalypse Show. But then all the other Zombies refused to go outside as well, saying it was just too cold, and, they didn't care if they were dead, they still weren't going out in the cold. What a bunch of wimp wussy zombies!! I guess now we know another way to stop zombies, besides shooting them in the head, apparently if you can get them outside in the winter, you'll be safe that way too. The zombies insisted that, if they were gonna devour people, they were just going to have to have this apocalypse indoors. Now zombies are making demands or they'll go on strike?! What kind of zombies are these?! You just can't get good zombie help anywhere any more! What is this world coming to?! Well, apparently, an end. They tried to zombify Dustin again, but he fought again, successfully, again, for a while, but, eventually they got him, and devoured him. Then he quit, even though he had already been fired. Not at all a team player! Some of the other zombies quit too. Again, these zombies have to be the worst zombies ever! Steve commented on how he didn't think this had been a very good zombie apocalypse, saying there should have been props, blood and such, and making other suggestions. It was pointed out to him that he had been there all night, and he could have made those suggestions then, but didn't. He said he had wanted to critique it after the fact. Zombies Just Joe and Tim were sicked on him and told to devour him, which they did. Just Joe said he had locked Shane in the trunk of his car, his, meaning Just Joe's, not Shane's. No one ever went to let him out, so he spent the rest of the night there, at least, who knows, maybe more, maybe he'd even still be there next week, who knows when Just Joe, or anyone else, will get around to letting him out. But Just Joe turned on his car radio so Shane could hear the rest of LE, and hear them mocking him and laughing at his being trapped in the trunk. There were a few segments of Movie Time throughout the night, with Tim, Little Gorgar, Adam, Steve, and EVD participating in some of them, EVD apparently being really excited that he had actually seen a movie to contribute, because, right at the very beginning of the night, when no one was talking about movies, and it was being explained that it was The Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show Zombie Apocalypse Edition, he blurted out, out of nowhere, "I Saw A Movie". There were a whole lot of songs about zombies, at least until about 4:00, when the Zombie Apocalypse portion of the program ended, as all the zombies had either quit, or, in Dustin's case, been fired, so the last two hours of the night were mostly just The Pre-Anniversary Count Down part, with a couple more zombie songs thrown in. And there was LE style Christmas themed music throughout the night as well. And so thus went our Second Pre-Anniversary Count Down To The End Of The World Show Zombie Apocalypse Edition. It was concluded that the Zombie Apocalypse part hadn't gone all that well, was kinda a failure. Well, what can you really expect with wimp wuss whiny zombies who make demands and put conditions on there being willing to do what zombies do, grab and devour people, eat their brains, and turn them into more zombies. I mean, really, is that so hard?! All you need to be concerned with is doing that if you are any kind of zombie worth his or her salt! You guys really sucked at being zombies! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Well, anyways, Happy Pre-Anniversary Of The End Of The World, everyone! Remember, if you have things you want to get accomplished, or affairs to be gotten in order, or affairs you want to have with anyone for that matter, better get cracking! There's only two years to go! So, Happy Holidays, everyone! 
-Fire Eater Wizard
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December 26, 2010 - We Love Satan Show

Joe and TimAs this LE began at midnight, December 26th, it began just as Christmas Day was ending. So we took credit for ending Christmas, yes, it was us, your welcome, everyone! So this was, of course, a We Love Satan Show. EVD, Little Gorgar, Adam, Tim, and Rick from The Metallic Onslaught, were there. They decided that Tim would be the most likely choice for Satan to inhabit, I mean he just screams out evil by his very being, of course he would be the one. So they got him prepared by having him do evil things. They had him twist Just Joe's nipple, steal Just Joe's Cheetos, and then give them to everyone but Just Joe. Tribute to the Past Russian Roulette was played. If a Christmas song, or a Satanic song played, then Just Joe would be thrown onto a barbed wire board. It did, so he did. Tim helped with that by sitting on his lap. They now thought Tim was sufficiently prepared, so they summoned Satan. But apparently Satan didn't want Tim, he wanted Rick, who would have ever thought that?! I mean, gentle, kind Rick?! Rick grabbed Adam, dragged him into the hallway, and, well, let's just say, there was only a mess of remains all over the hallway, and no Adam anywhere. So Adam was our sacrifice to Satan, everyone had thought that it would be Just Joe, including Just Joe himself. Rick didn't remember killing Adam when they told him Satan had made him do it to provide the sacrifice. Just Joe made a stew out of Adam's remains, and Tim ate it. He didn't know at first that that was what the stew was made out of, but, when he was told, he just said it was delicious, and kept right on eating. During a segment of Movie Time, Azkath became enraged when EVD told him he had seen the first episodes of the most recent "Doctor Who" series, and why hadn't any of them ever told him about that show and how good it was. Azkath beat the crap out of him, threw him out, and threw the barbed wire board on top of him. Azkath decided this would be a perfect day to summon an Elder God. He played some appropriate music, and waited to hear from the basement, which was where he summoned the God to appear, saying they could be contained down there. They listened via the microphone Azkath had set up. Soon there were strange sounds. Just Joe went to peek at what was down there. He said it was the evil bunnies he had seen when they sent him into the future a while back. And they were rapidly multiplying, as rabbits always do. Just Joe went and got a gun and started shooting the bunnies. When that didn't work well enough, he set off a grenade. That worked, it destroyed all the bunnies, leaving yet another stew like mess of remains all over the basement. Someone will probably be fed that, maybe Tim. Azkath said that, maybe he had brought about the bunnies in the future, and, since they were now destroyed, maybe Just Joe should go back to the future (wait, that sounds familiar, wasn't there some movies with that title or something?), and check on what was happening there now. Just Joe didn't want to, but Azkath hypnotized him, sent him two years and one month into the future, and asked him what he saw now. No bunnies. But a lot of shoggoths, eating all the people. Then Just Joe started screaming, really loudly. But, when asked what he was seeing now, all he would shriek was that it was unspeakable. He was hysterical, and extremely loud, so Azkath brought him back. Just Joe didn't remember being in the future, or what he had seen. He thought he had saved the day by destroying the bunnies, not realizing, or remembering, that, now that the shoggoths weren't able to eat the bunnies, they were eating the people. So now that's the future we apparently look forward to. Happy Holidays, everyone. As I made mention of, there was Movie Time, a few segments of it throughout the night, with Tim and EVD participating in some of them, that is until Azkath kicked EVD out violently, as I mentioned above. There was a lot of music about and praising Satan all night, and, for one last time, some Christmas music, of the Last Exit variety... 
-Fire Eater Wizard
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