- Published in 2015 Archive
- The Movie
- The Evidence
May 3, 2015 - No Pants Day
This was a very special Program, it was the first ever Official No Pants Day Show on The Last Exit. Usually No Pants Day is celebrated every year, going back years, on "The Metallic Onslaught", but, in their new accommodations, they currently don't have the room, or the mics, to hold it there, but that is being worked on, so this may well be the only No Pants Day LE, actually, No Pants Day is on the first Friday in May, which this year was right on the first, when MO broadcasts, but, of course, as LE does not air on Fridays, we called it No Pants Day Weekend this year. And, as Satan is miffed that Randy and Just Joe keep not showing up on our We Love Satan Shows, this LE was also a We Love Satan Show, for part of it, so Satan could possess either Just Joe, or Randy. Present for this very special LE were, Arydaea, EVD, Just Joe, Olivia, Tim, and, Jon (and his Girlfriend Robyn), from the band Undead Messengers, Randy and his brother BILL!!!, Bronie Nathan, who had brought along a Bronie friend of his, Aaron (aka Shreddy), Azriel, Tracy, Creepy Cousin Ted, . Everyone participated in No Pants Day, including me, except the host. The Wheel Of Doom had everyone's name present on it, people would spin it, and, who ever's name it landed on, would have to take their pants off. For most of them, that meant they were in their underwear, mostly boxers, but, Just Joe and EVD did special, in more ways than one, things, Just Joe came out, again, in more ways than one, in a little black skirt, and took Tracy, who's name had just come up on The Wheel, and, Aaron into the other room and gave them lap dances. Their screams could be heard, well, Tracy was mostly laughing. EVD came out in a toga, he got upset with his "girlfriend", Jon, of Undead Messengers, because he said that he was supposed to be wearing one, too, that they were supposed to do that together, so EVD told Jon they were through. Now, Randy was not allowed to participate in No Pants Day, his name was not on The Wheel, because of the horrible, disturbing things he has done for No Pants Day in the past, which you can check out on our YouTube, but don't if you are easily traumatized. But, when Satan showed up, he possessed Randy, and then wanted to spin The Wheel, and of course he was told he could, it was his portion of The Show, after all. But, when he spun it, the only name on it was Randy's, to everyone's great distress. Satan departed, and Randy, only now it was Mandy, looking even more hideous and disturbing than she had last year, and no one would have thought that that could be possible, arrived. She was wearing edible underwear, and she was still going on about her biological clock ticking and wanting a baby. She had demonstrated to us last year her horrible taste in men, when she had the hots for Just Joe, had molested him, seriously traumatizing him, and, a year hadn't improved her taste in men any, because the first thing she did was throw herself at Just Joe, and then she proceeded to throw herself at almost every other man there, chasing them around and molesting them. When she got to EVD, he started strangling her, so Mandy said she didn't like him anymore. Mandy did manage to corner Nathan in a soundbooth at one point, though... Azkath decided that the only way to get rid of Mandy, was to bring back something that was still really bad, but anything was better than Mandy. He had the two Bronies bring back Bronie Randy, by showing him cute little ponies, letting him pet them and stroke them and such. It worked, Bronie Randy emerged, and was shocked to find out how he looked. By now everyone was pants less, but Just Joe wanted to spin The Wheel again. When he did, the only name on it was Jeffie, Just Joe wanted his buddy Jeffie there for No Pants Day, they always celebrated that together on MO, and Jeffie was the one who had started Celebrating it there, with more disastrous results for everyone else every year. Now Jeffie is not allowed on LE, Azkath refuses to have him there. But Just Joe insisted, saying that The Wheel had spoken. So Azkath said that he quit then, and left. Jeffie arrived, wearing a Santa hat, and with his love boxers, which he said he had been wearing for two days, they smelled really bad. He kept putting them on people, rubbing them on them. As Azkath was gone, Jeffie and Just Joe thought they could do something else which is banned on LE, play Europe's "The Final Countdown", but every time Jeffie tried to play it on the computer, it would play a few notes, stop, and "Nope" was said, he tried several times but that kept happening, Azkath must have anticipated that Just Joe would try to get around that ban again, and put some kind of lock on it. Finally Jeffie found a version of it that would play, but it was a cover, a very evil sounding one by Libach. Just Joe was not happy with Jeffie. Then Jeffie played the new song from Nelson, which I loved, even better than their old stuff, but Just Joe did not. He became angry with his good friend, and they got into a slap fight. Randy tried to get Jeffie to eat Mandy's edible underwear, saying it was candy, but for once, Jeffie was smart enough not to fall for that, he must be getting a bit smarter. Just Joe and Jeffie's fight progressed outside, and Just Joe knocked Jeffie over the porch railing by hitting him in the head, most likely killing him, but, if he did, I'm sure he will come back, he always does, we never get that lucky. Just Joe found Azkath and begged him to come back, saying he had gotten rid of Jeffie. Azkath wanted an apology, and got it. He said they were all good now, but he would punish Just Joe for bringing Jeffie later, more on that in a bit. Azkath had Just Joe take Tracy and Nathan into The Performance Room, and seat them in chairs. Then he played Porno Joe's theme music, so they were treated to the full experience that that is, stripping, lap dances, lots of rubbing and molesting, their screams could be heard. Once Just Joe's porn music stops, he never has any memory of what he has just done, and has absolutely no idea why he is naked, on top of people, and why they are so traumatized. Azkath asked Just Joe why he had been absent for three weeks? Just Joe said that he had been on a cruise, to Bermuda. When asked where in Bermuda, he said The Triangle, but then, when he started describing his experiences there, he described the two obscure, disturbing movies he had watched the last time he was here, "Let My Puppets Come", and, "Eaten Alive". He couldn't seem to remember what he had done on his cruise. So Azkath said he would help him with that, and that was the punishment I spoke of before. He hypnotized Just Joe, but not to find out about his cruise... He told him to really concentrate on how Randy had looked as Mandy, especially on his/her crotch area, to focus on that really well, and that he would remember that feeling for quite a while, then he brought him out of it. Just Joe started crying, which grew into sobbing, which turned into screaming. He found some comfort in stroking Azriel's beard, but was still very traumatized. Azriel brought some music with him, a rough version of a song from his new band, and a song from a band he's working with, doing their art work. Both were played, they were cool. Also, a live track of Undead Messengers's was played, it rocked. Of course, during the We Love Satan portion of the program, all Satanic music was played. There was a segment of Movie Time. The last hour was The Old School Hour... And thus went our first ever, and probably last ever, No Pants Day Weekend Show. It was a night full of chaos, mayhem, and very disturbing, traumatizing events. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put some pants back on, it's getting a bit chilly here in only my underwear...
Playlist
Ovid's Withering "Earthshaker I"
Nightwish "Weak Fantasy"
Wooden Stake "A Feast of Virgin Souls"
Poison Idea "Bog"
Razor "Taste the Floor"
Raven "Fight"
Refused "Elektra"
L7 "Let's Lynch the Landlord"
Nekrogoblikon "Full Body Xplosion"
Arstidir Lifsins "Aldafǫðr Ok Munka Dróttinn"
Burnt Books "Shadow I Cast"
Dark Void "100 Years"
Deathwish "Six Bullet Roulette"
Carnalation "Against The Burning Sky"
Deivos "Ochlocracy"
Ex's with Benefits "Puritan Party"
Forndom "Bäckahästen"
Lordi "Schizo Doll"
Undead Messengers "Shipwrecked - Live"
Lightning Bolt "Over the River and Through the Woods"
Maxxxwell Carlisle "The Power of Metal Compels You"
Deathhammer "Satan is Back"
Babylon Whores "Errata Stigmata"
Dreadlords "Born Into the Arms"
Night Conquers Day "The Preservation of Ignorance"
Unleashed "Where Churches Once Burned"
My Refuge "Calling of the Wild"
Nashville Pussy "Lazy Jesus (with Lemmy)"
Anal Penetration "Fuck Off"
Orpheus Blade "Under Dying Stars"
Taken by the Sun "Demons Tempt the Dying Man with Crowns"
The Inspector Cluzo "I Am (Not) A Super Hero"
The Magick Way "La Mano Raccoglie"
Self Spiller "I Spit in the Stomach of Zombies"
Laibach "The Final Countdown"
Nelson "Rock Star"
Soto "Final Say"
Crom Dubh "The Invulnerable Tide"
Mick Kahler & Al Flash "Take Cover from the Flying Drone"
The Alfas "Day after Day"
Stearica "Halite"
Suit of Sorrows "The Wake (Rough Mix)"
Mississippi Bones "All's Well That Ends (Are We Having Fhatagn Yet)"
Steve Von Till "A Language of Blood"
Crom Dubh "The Invulnerable Tide"
Distant Sun "Kill the Fremen"
Lycia "Silver Leaf"
** Old School Hour **
Poison Idea "Plastic Bomb"
Thought Industry "Republicans in Love"
Razor "Stabbed in the Back"
Razor "Hypertension"
Destructor "Bring Down the Hammer"
Whiplash "Heavenaut"
Agony "Mass Manipulation"
Bile "You're a Fucking Loser"
Bloodstar "The Gift of God"
Die Krupps "Bloodsuckers (Remix)"
Killing Joke "The Wait"
The Movie
The Evidence
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